I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of ‘success’ recently - partly prompted by a book I read recently (more on that below), partly from a conversation with a friend, and partly through my own lived experiences of what is valuable and meaningful to me.
What is a life well lived?
Well, it depends on who is living it.
In January, I read Emma Gannon’s book The Success Myth - Letting Go of Having it All. An exploration of society’s obsession with achievement and how to break free from this trap. Based on research from hundreds of ‘successful’ people whom she interviewed on her podcast, the book sums up many of her concluding thoughts and opinions on what success is (no surprise, it’s what you want it to be).
It’s a good read and will get you thinking about your current notions of success and where those ideas stem from, as well as prompt you to rethink what a ‘successful’ life could look like for you moving forward.
Before reading this book, I had a conversation with a friend, a couple of months back now. We were talking about traditional societal markers of ‘success’ - the solid outcomes that pass the success test - marriage or long-term partnership, motherhood, home ownership, money, visibility (fame or being ‘well-known’), business or career success in whatever form it takes, the number of social media followers, or ‘community’ one has.
I commented that I’d experienced snippets of some of these things in my life, but that most of these ‘traditional’ markers that signal ‘success’ haven’t applied to me.
We went on to speak about the creative life, the life well-lived - a well-woven creative life.
It was always my wish to live a creative and adventure-filled life - a life rich in art, creativity, and experiences. I wanted to create in many forms; to write poetry, stories, songs and books, to paint, design and travel. I wanted to cultivate deep and meaningful relationships with others, to be in nature and explore culture, people, place and spirituality. I wanted a life rich in sensuality and alive with colour. And that is exactly the life I have lived.
A Creative Life is a Rich One
A creative life is a rich one indeed. When we are finely tuned to subtlety, to incremental moments and present to the details through the senses; life seems to illuminate from the inside out. It has a three-dimensional quality that enhances our depth of experience.
Being a writer or artist, makes us live a richer life. We make mental notes of sights, sounds, smells, colours, or the way a particular environment makes us feel. We bear witness to relational dynamics, to the creases in the skin created by laughter lines, how the tone of voice changes when someone is angry or their quirky habit of having hot chips on a Friday by the bay, rain or shine. Through the simple act of noticing life as it happens, we become more present to it and in it. And when we write or create art about it, the richness deepens further.
Reading books and stories allows us to delve into many lives - (a concept explored in Matt Haig’s novel, The Midnight Library which I’ve yet to read) - which is why those who read and listen, feel their lives all the more richer for it. These are the lives we’ll never live. Yet through the imagination, we can. We all know the experience of reading a good novel in which the world created, becomes real. We think about the characters and find ourselves in scenes while making lunch on a Tuesday. The essence of their world seeps into our dreams and becomes part of our own story, for a while at least. (Right now, I’m reading a novel, Fresh Water for Flowers by French author, Valerie Perrin and am immersed in a strange new, bittersweet and amusing world of a female cemetery caretaker in France).
The overarching sentiment of this poem by Brazilian writer, Martha Medeiros feels akin to a life well lived:
YOU START DYING SLOWLY*
You start dying slowly
If you do not travel,
If you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.
You start dying slowly
When you kill your self-esteem;
When you do not let others help you.
You start dying slowly
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colors
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.
You start dying slowly
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.
You start dying slowly
If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job,
or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime,
To run away from sensible advice.
– Martha Medeiros –
There are so many nuances to a ‘successful’ life (and let’s perhaps change the wording from successful to fulfilling). So many weaving parts that create the holistic experience of day-to-day living.
Mine includes moments of meeting friendly dogs who come to greet me, coastal walks and wild swims, a flask of tea - the promise of adventure.
There are billions of different lives, and the one I have chosen, is a life filled with poetry, art, music and nature, with touch, presence and beauty. A well-woven creative life.
What does your version of a ‘successful’ (fulfilling) life look and feel like today? Feel welcome to share in the comments.
happy Easter Sunday!
Jane x
WHAT’S COMING UP…
HYDRATE - A Monthly Online Creative Writing Workshop to Rehydrate your Writing Life - Next class is on Tuesday, 16th of April, 7-8.30pm. The theme this month - Cycles & Seasons (inner and outer) - where we will once again be touching on themes of nature. Book your place here.
Personal Mentoring - I’ve been working in the field of women’s mentorship for 9 years and currently offering 1:1 personal mentoring sessions online. Discover how mentoring can support you here.
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*Quote/Poem by Martha Medeiros: “You start dying slowly if you do not travel, ...” (goodreads.com)
Love your words, Jane - and the freedom they bring by not adhering to old and too worn thinking about success/fulfillment. Wishing you many more splendid adventures!! :-)